[lopatin]

Re "suck it up". I think you brought up two extremes: a stranger, and a loved one. But if my friend tells me to suck it up, I don't get offended, I'll just take it as an informed suggestion. And he'd usually be right. The cons of outwardly expressing the pain of stubbing a toe far outweigh the pros (are there any?).

Thanks again for your responses. A lot of the meditation talk still sounds a lot like "it was great but hard to explain, but you had to be there". I want to try it soon.

[babygoat]

Oh definitely, I did that intentionally just to show that it was relative. I'm only speaking for myself, but I don't think an informed suggestion, even a kinder one, would have helped without having practiced giving and revoking attention to something I hadn't really looked at much before.

My pleasure - that's kind of the thing. All subjective experiences are impossible to define until we create words for them and know that we've shared the same experience with others. But we know that subjective experience is completely real. And it's everything.