[aurelian15]

I fully agree that my "birthday party" example sucks. I just couldn't think of anything better.

Regarding the "no controversies at work" matter, I feel that coming to a situation where you dismiss each others opinions as "horrible" is a problem in the first place. Having worked with people ranging from Christian fundamentalist to extreme left, I always have the feeling that we come to agree that our differences are funded in a relatively small set of assumptions about the world, and it is far easier to accept one another once you've come to grasp these assumptions. If any discussion about these topics is widening the divide instead of advancing mutual understanding, society is truly doomed.

So, if you don't want to discuss these things at work, why not at least be curious about other people's thoughts and honestly ask them in a non-condescending way about why they think about something in a certain way?

[watwut]

They don't divide when the topic actually does not matter to you. That is when you can easily be detached. When the outcome of the discussion affects you personally, then it is much different. Speaking about Christian fundamentalist specifically, if the consensus in work ends up being that I was supposed to be more with children anyway or that I should be naturally submissive, then my position and career will be fundamentally different then if the consensus ends up being radical aggressive feminist women-are-always-right stance.

Those debates have consequences and that is why they are heated. Alternatively we can make work about work where impact of these things is minified.

"So, if you don't want to discuss these things at work, why not at least be curious about other people's thoughts and honestly ask them in a non-condescending way about why they think about something in a certain way?"

Because I am here to do the job. I picked up this job because I liked programming and problem solving. If I would be interested that much in someones that was randomly assigned to the same team opinions about my gender, motherhood, health care or tax policy, I would pick up different job.

I also strongly hate when people discuss topics like that for hours, then have to stay late and then frame themselves as hard workers who stay late or demand that I stay late too, because they need my support.

Discuss those things after work, with or without colleges.