[norlys]

> All untreated BPDs experience splitting. For me, that isn't up for debate

I don't know where you got that information from, but I'll assume it's the bad experiences you mentioned. I'm sorry you made them. "a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation" is one of nine criterias used to diagnose BPD. One must fulfil only five, however. Please try not to make those generalizations. It's important. People suffering from borderline are still individual humans. Even if they have similar (not the same) problems as the ones who hurt you, it's not fair to divert your disappointment.

[xor1]

>People suffering from borderline are still individual humans.

Being the victim of childhood abuse or trauma does not give you the right to abuse people unrelated to those events today. You have agency, and you are responsible for your behavior.

Having a personality disorder does not give you license to abuse others and does not negate your responsibility for your behavior. Again, you have agency and your mental illness does not change that.

The fact that you did not choose to have BPD is irrelevant and does not give you the right to abuse others. It does not negate your responsibility for your own behavior.