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by jsmthrowaway 3114 days ago
See? Got me figured out from a label.

I didn’t miss your point. The part that made that comment horrible is “you’re not allowed to come over until you stop peeing on my couch,” like human beings with a regrettable, painful, mortifyingly embarrassing condition are untrained dogs to you. Like it’s something they can just stop. That’s what you said: figure it out, then I’ll let you sit on my couch. I considered the possibility that I misinterpreted you here, then noticed that I wasn’t the only one, if so.

Then you did the exact same thing here, too. “Stop splitting.” “Decide to stop hurting people.” “Just flick off this light switch that’s taken years of therapy to even understand, buddy! Just live! Just be!” Okay, Julia. You’re talking about serious, life changing journeys that require a lot of help and support along the way, and paying them the same respect as taking the car through the wash.

I’m not blind to my impact on other people. As is typical in armchair psychologists, you missed the entire part of my comment where I talk about how intensely aware I am of my impact on others. That’s this entire comment: oh, he has this condition, let me ignore everything he said and talk to him with my years of psychological training. Maybe that will get through.

I’m not splitting with you and acknowledge that I know nothing about your pain or journey. I know only what you’ve chosen to share in commentary here, and brother, it’s enough of a display of malempathy to make me conclude that your opinion matters very little to me. I didn’t even need my disorder to make that determination. The follow up didn’t do a lot to help.

1 comments

Who is Julia? Just curious. Thanks for sharing your perspective and following up with the other poster in detail.
For some reason, “decide to just live” made me think of Eat Pray Love. Mental reference I don’t fully understand either, don’t worry.
As a BDP self-diagnosed here in the post, I fully understand why you did this. I also did it in the past without knowing why but today I got some reflection about it, mainly with this topic and your reluctancing in understand that the way your argument is severely biased because of this condition we share.
Please don't self diagnose. Not much good comes out of it, as you can't act upon it with treatment such as therapy or medication. Please see a professional instead.
I don’t know if I agree that I’m biased about calling out a lack of empathy like that — maybe that I personalized it too much, sure — but I respect your viewpoint and I’m glad you’re reflecting on it. Self awareness is step one on a journey that’s going to take you and I a long time, and I’m glad to see that this (awful) thread has some positive outcomes.