[koolba]

> What bothers me about this whole thing is that I never bought it like a stock. I mined it YEARS ago when it was worthless.

If you mined gold, planted corn, or raised chickens and then subsequently sold any of them you'd pay taxes on the proceeds as well.

> PS: My address has never been tied to an IRL transaction.

Short of using a tumbler to anonymize your source bitcoins and fraudulently declaring a different or fake person as the recipient of the purchase, I don't see how this is possible if you're buying something online.