[stijnh]

> Meanwhile I’m paying about ~$4k a month in just rent and car bills for her. Not including anything else.

You are contributing to her horrific lifestyle. You need to cut everything off. There is no other way to save her and yourself.

[throwaway413]

You’re right. I’m an enabler. Hard reality to face. Thank you.

Its hard to effectively choose for someone you care so deeply about, to suffer. Even if they need it badly.

[dudul]

How is he supposed to do so? If they were indeed married and went through a divorce there is likely a court order forcing him to pay for her lifestyle.

[hiram112]

Yep. In California or New York, it's typically a year of alimony for each 2 years of marriage. At 10 years, it's lifetime. So he definitely dodged a bullet.

But for a few years, he's probably on the hook for half his income since she was stay-at-home with no career.

[sjg007]

There's still going to be child support for sure but after the kid starts going to school she will be expected to get a job, if able, and if she remarries then generally you won't have to pay alimony anymore.

[IamNotAtWork]

HOW? Did court order you to pay alimony or something?