| Been there, almost exactly there, 15 years ago now. 0) If you are having suicidal thoughts, you should get medical attention. Even if you're not "truly" suicidal, depression/anxiety will rob you of the power you need to do things. So first things first. 1) Unless you're into building skyscrapers or bridges or something like that[1], you don't need anyone's permission to build stuff. Do it on your own time. Learn things. Have fun. Use it in the short term to give your life shape and meaning. 2) In the medium term, look for or make opportunities to use what you learn building stuff to make money. E.g., if by stuff you meant software, this could look like a skunkworks productivity booster app at the customer service job or a web app you make for a friend. 3) If you do 1 and 2 long enough; stay flexible, adjusting course as necessary; and don't let fear/complacency keep you from taking some chances now and again, you will eventually find that at some point you became a pro at building stuff (or perhaps at some related, but satisfying niche). [1] If you're into buildings or bridges or somesuch, obviously you'll also need degrees/credentials, but steps 0-3 will still work. Good luck. EDIT: formatting |