[evanb]

> There's no "purely gravitational object" it only "looks like that" from behind the event horizon

It depends on what framework you're working in. If you're working in general relativity, there's a singularity and absolutely nothing else---no matter at all. If you're talking about the "real world" you can ask: Is GR reliable for these situations, especially in light of quantum-gravitational puzzles? I think you agree that we don't know the answer. But we can say what the GR answers are.