[kurusii]

I didn't "work my way up" from prescription drugs. I have debilitating depression, to the point where I can't get out of bed most days. I can't say I have much to live for, honestly. I am just functional enough to realize that I am deeply unsatisfied with my life.

I've tried many different antidepressants. My psychiatrist told me that if the next few medications didn't work, he mentioned that I might want to consider electroshock therapy.

I tried heroin with my brother a few years ago, and I got high of course (so my opinion is admittedly skewed,) but it just gave me a couple precious hours of what I imagine it life could be. I work in fintech, so I have to take drug tests, but I've used it off and on since.

I don't want to be high. I just want a life where I actually want to live, an "aspiration" I've had for years.

Maybe my desires are even more skewed due to having gotten high, and knowing that I will forever have a "high bar" for however good it made me feel, but in general it just feels like the quote says, "It gives you a taste of heaven and drags you down to hell." But I was in hell already.

[drug_uesr_throw]

I have similar experience with mental illness (bipolar 2) and that's what I thought for the first couple years. a literal wonder drug! I could be social, I had energy to get up and work, I got a boyfriend. But gradually it loses the magic - or you have to keep increasing dose and eventually if you run out of money you're fucked. I'm guessing that if you're here, like me, you're probably fairly well off.

Have you tried tramadol? Or some SNRIs+low dose opiate or tramadol? Ask your psych for a tramadol script I've found my therapist to be receptive to that as med. I find that effexor helps with withdrawals and tramadol and effexor both helped a lot more than SSRIs for me - the problem is with bipolar it causes cycling

[StreamBright]

Interesting read for you.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2008/aug/19/psycho...