Hacker News new | ask | show | jobs
by TheSpiceIsLife 3153 days ago
About half of all marriages fail. All the intimate relationships people have prior to marriage also don't last. So people we like has a fairly high failure rate for intimate relationships.

Having said that, it doesn't necessarily mean it was all a complete waste.

Most people don't stay in their first job, so there's that.
3 comments
late2part 3153 days ago
I suggest that the average marriage lasts longer than most jobs.

Average Job: 4.6 Years - https://www.thebalance.com/how-long-should-an-employee-stay-...

Average Marriage: 8 Years - https://www.mckinleyirvin.com/Family-Law-Blog/2012/October/3...

link
jogjayr 3153 days ago
Given how much harder it is to leave a marriage than it is to leave a job, I'd think the gap between those two should be much larger.
link
Spooky23 3152 days ago
The two are pretty tightly linked. If you have an underemployed or unemployed couple without a support network, you pretty much have to get divorced to get social services.
link
Spooky23 3152 days ago
What's your definition of success?

I don't walk into any job interview situation expecting 30 years of bliss -- that's generally not a reality. If you stick around for 3 years that's probably a decent employment relationship depending on industry.

Many marriages, including those that ultimately fail, work pretty well for a long time. I'm not that old, and I've been married for 13 years. Is that a win?

Also, the average marriage is around 8 years, but the median is close to 40 iirc. People who get divorced trend to have issues like being young, poor, previously divorced, criminal issues or substance abuse problems. Divorce rates for couples at least 25 without those risk factors are dramatically lower -- implying that people with fewer signs of bad judgement display better judgement in picking a spouse and maintaining a relationship.

link
TheSpiceIsLife 3152 days ago
Yes, I thoroughly agree with all you've written.

As someone who indulges in more than his fare share of young/poor/previously separated/criminal issues/substance abuse problems... I attempted to capture that in my somewhat more terse "Having said that, it doesn't necessarily mean it was all a complete waste." Thanking for expanding on that where I was laconic.

link
ndh2 3153 days ago
"People we like" is not how 100% of all people pick their spouse.
link