| One of the problems with this idea is that it kind of paints you into a corner. It doesn't allow you to aspire to be the person you desire to be. It predicts that who you are is static and then it helps make that a reality. During my divorce, I intentionally sought to not allow past relationship data to influence whom I hooked up with.* I had been with four people. Three of them were blonde. Three of them were born within a few weeks of me. All four of them were either in the military at the time or joined it later (because we were both just 17). I didn't hate the man I was divorcing. I didn't think I had missed by much on finding a great match for me. I was trying to figure out how to sort the wheat from the chaff. For me, a dating app that said "You clearly like blondes. Here are all the blondes." would have been the exact opposite of what I wanted. I wanted to make personal connections that were not biased by shallow details of that sort. I succeeded in that goal and it was a growth experience. So, to my mind, a dating app that would be this thorough is the dating equivalent of redlining colored communities and not approving mortgages there. I say that because one of the issues was that I had been molested as a child. So, my feeling is that if you limit future relationships based on passed behavior, you are saying that you are 100% fine with painting abuse survivors into a corner they can never, ever escape. And that doesn't sit well with me. I generally like to give life room to surprise me. I have gone out of my way to let men surprise me with being better people than my bad past experiences led me to believe I could find in men. The last thing I want is someone or something essentially telling me "So, we hear you like abusive men who will shit on you. Here are your matches." Yeah, no. I never asked for that. But finding my way out of it has been a long, strange journey because, seriously, society doesn't yet have a good play book for how on earth you do that. So, you very much have to roll your own. * http://micheleincalifornia.blogspot.com/2015/10/reducing-bia... |
It also ignores how attraction works. Sure, someone may find blond people attractive, but it's seldom a deal-breaker. These algorithms tend to select on characteristics that are easy to assess, discarding many potential partners who'd be more suitable in other ways.