[KGIII]

Absolutely. My life is riddled with bad choices, some of which I continue today. I'm constantly surprised I am where I am, and that I'm somehow alive.

Can I delay gratification? Sure. I don't always want to do so. I don't fear death. I fear fragility of the mind and body. I don't want 90 boring years. I want 70 damned fun years where every day is the best day ever.

I'm nearing that 70 year mark and not even remotely scared. They'll prop me up with opiates and amphetamines. I see that as something to look forward to, not fear.

[nate_meurer]

> "I fear fragility of the mind"

My limited knowledge of you via your HN comments tells me you're in no danger of this whatsoever.

> "opiates and amphetamines"

Hopefully at the same time :)

[KGIII]

Adjectives I want to be used to describe my death:

Quick; unexpected; spectacular; unusual; shocking; smiling; etc...

Words I don't want:

Prolonged; suffering; sad; fire; sober; alone;

I'll settle for peacefully in my sleep, but screaming in terror and surrounded by friends is also good. I figure that will at least be quick and give someone a good story to tell.

It's peaceful to have come to grips with my mortality.

[nate_meurer]

Fire, LOL. So plane crash might work, as long as you're killed by impact and not inferno.

When my grandmother was dying of cancer, I asked her how she felt about her death which we knew was likely just weeks away. She said that, aside from the cancer, being old sucks in ways that made her more ready to be done with it. And her life was in good order so it was an ok time to end. That's really my only wish -- that I be ready for it. Pain's ok as long as it doesn't turn me into a total asshole.

[KGIII]

Yeah, fire is right off my list of good ways to die. I'm pretty sure that has to suck. Conversely, if I'm burned badly and still alive, I probably won't want to live. I already have a living will and DNR.

I'm 59. If I get another 11 years, I'll be pretty stoked. I've done everything I've wanted to do, for the most part. I don't have any great yearning to accomplish more, I've done plenty. I have enough and worked my ass off to get here. This is just time to enjoy the moment, something I feel privileged to have.

It is also very comforting to know my affairs are all in order. If I get diagnosed with cancer tomorrow, I'll probably order up a large satchel of illegal narcotics, invite some friends over, and go on a wild adventure until I die. I may not even seek treatment other than pain remediation.

And, yeah, my close friends and family all know my views. They are largely in agreement.

Meh... I figured I'd share an alternative view. I'm pretty sure many won't agree they'd do it this way, but it's not their death.

[Mz]

It is also very comforting to know my affairs are all in order. If I get diagnosed with cancer tomorrow, I'll probably order up a large satchel of illegal narcotics, invite some friends over, and go on a wild adventure until I die. I may not even seek treatment other than pain remediation.

I know a cancer survivor who basically said (at the time that they had cancer and were undergoing treatment) that if they didn't have a child to raise, that would be the path they would choose. They said having cancer was not torture, but the treatments were, basically.

[KGIII]

Yeah, it would take external stimuli for me to choose the treatment options. A grandchild might do that. Maybe excessive angst from the missus but that's unlikely - she knows my views and I'd not be with her if she wasn't accepting of them.

Of course, we can't really tell unless I'm actually in that situation... I can only speculate.

I've been in pretty dangerous places, including combat, so I know I'm not really scared of my mortality. I just REALLY hope it doesn't hurt like hell beforehand.