Your nitpicking is totally unfounded. Oligopoly refers to the state of the market, not the intent of actors within the market. If there's only a few, large firms it's an oligopoly regardless of the reason.
Depends on the definition you’re reading. Google says it’s “a state of limited competition, in which a market is shared by a small number of producers or sellers.”
Limited competition is the lead phrase there. By this definition, parcel delivery is not an oligopoly if it’s competitive.
Well no... His distinction was that oligopoly required intent. And my point is that limited competitors is by definition limited competition.
Really, boiled down my point is that this: "I think people are over-using the word "oligopoly" for any situation where a few companies have most of the market" is really dumb because an oligopoly is any situation where a few companies have most of the market. Perhaps the rise in use of the word oligopoly is reflective of the increase in oligopolistic markets, but it's not due to misuse, certainly not the one he outlined.
I know I am nitpicking, but I think people are over-using the word "oligopoly" for any situation where a few companies have most of the market.