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The decision is based on what's most important to you. I know it sounds like a platitude, but it is what it is. My boyfriend came from country A to country B to move in with me, at some considerable professional cost to himself (left PhD track in hot field with, admittedly, kind of useless supervisor, for boring cookie cutter "research" in my institute).
We are not the youngest (mid-30s, early 40s), and we wanted to see if living together would make us or break us, after several years of long distance relationship. It was a risk, obviously more so for him than for me. Four years later, I followed him back to country A, for a (not very big) cut in both our salaries, but more interesting jobs for both of us. He got a job offer, then I searched and found something for myself, too. We are identifying quite a lot with our field / jobs, but the main decision driver was "us". For instance, I would have followed him back to country A no matter what, and he, in turn, wouldn't have taken the job offer in A had I also not found a job. |