| I'm going to say something that may not go well with others here and may be repulsive at first. Hear me out though. There are 2 issues here and they are separate. Issue #1. Is it worth relocating to SV for your "dream job"? A few things to note are: - There are no "dream" jobs. That's a myth. You are building someone elses vision and domesticating yourself further. - What will your net worth become after 1, 2, and 3 years after this job relative to current opportunities of where you are at now. Will you actually get ahead and achieve your Real dreams and life purpose, or merely toil away in a land far from loved ones and spend precious years somewhere you do not want to be. - Why do you have to move? That says something about how needy the employer is. They probably have games, "free" food, and noisy open offices. Issue #2. Fear of the loss of love(r) - Are you genuinely happy and secure in your relationship? If you were going to propose. You would have done so already and not weigh different options. Men are decisive and when they are not, it is because their intuition ia telling them something. - If she would not move with you. Would you move if she "got her dream job offer". How would that play out a) she took it or b) she didn't take it and "stayed" with you. Reflecting on this question will reveal something to you about the quality of your relationship, as well as the power dynamic and is useful analysis. - Do her goals and yours line up? Moving in together is Common Law marriage. Look up the stats on how many women get pregnant in such situations after X months. Apply an estimate for when you will have your first child (if she wants kids and you both can biologically have them). Decide if you really want this and are ok with the probability. - Are any underhanded tactics such as "if you loved me, you would stay" being used or mentioned? If anything resembles this uncomfortable line of questioning, then it's time to take a hard look at whether it is the right thing to continue being together. Hope this gives something to think about and meaningful insights as a result. There are 6 big fears that a person can have. And I suspect a couple are at play and hindering decisive action. Also, I'm going to be hard on you with the passive language: "I recently received a compelling offer..." So you mean that an offer landed on your lap from the heavens, with no volition or involvement from yourself? Or did you mean that you DELIBERATELY sought out a killer opportunity and nailed it? If it fell from the heavens, then it wouldn't be a discussion point. I am suspecting it is the latter. Your behaviour and choices are telling you something. Do not second guess yourself and do not let the fear of the loss of love get in the way of your happiness. She is your girlfriend. Not your wife. Not the mother of your children. Not your sister. Not your mother. |