| Short r.d. laing video on people getting out of their depressions/predicaments / just being OK again. I read his books (divided self is my favorite) after learning about him, they did a lot to my perspective on things https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKOxp2q2lss Sounds like she's sadistically tormenting you... awful. do all you can to put distance between you and her. and do anything at all that helps you feel OK, even if it's just whistling a tune. Just so you don't feel get snared in guilt, or rumination, as if there were an external expectation that you should feel like "it's my responsibility to remember that I have all these reasons that justify my misery". Don't feel bad about not knowing that your fantasy would become a nightmare. There was no way you would have known. But make sure to still have fantasies, though of course now for a very different future. Your future was not cursed just because she destroyed your relationship (and fantasies of its future). Sure, our fantasies may merely be imaginary. But people crucially depend upon their fantasies nonetheless. They are the only way many of us attain a feeling that we have a real connection with the real world, and things feel better when you release old ones that are no longer viable, and find new ones, too. as for finding new fantasies for meaning, media (like movies, books, TV shows, music, etc.) aren't all that bad for letting you 'uncover' the covers on top of your own desires, when the story resonates with you strongly. |