If it's any consolation it sounds like your ex has a personality disorder with sadistic traits. It is unlikely she will ever make anyone happy, quite the opposite.
She has traits of [Borderline?] Personality Disorder, but I found out about BPD after whole thing went down in flames and I started doing research.
She is 35. Attractive. Abused childhood, absent mother that went around banging man and abusive stepfather, father left when she was 2. She had 3 marriages that collapsed, numerous engagements that probably fell as well, and shit-load of relationships that are short-lived(6m-1y). And of course, all men were terrible. On top, she has eating disorder and thin as rail.
Entire ordeal sounds like some evil plot to destroy me. My older friends, who went through divorces, were shocked and said this by far nastiest break-up they heard about.
It's not uncommon for someone with BPD. It only gets worse over time unless the person makes a concerted effort to work with a trained specialist to manage the symptoms, and most don't. You are neither the first nor last to have a marriage fall apart as a result of BPD. It's fucked up, it's horrible, but you will survive it. Eventually you'll have days where you don't even think about it.
That said, I highly recommend you speak to a therapist. There are things you are doing to attract these personalities and it's important to recognize it so you don't find yourself in the same situation in the future.
Entire ordeal sounds like some evil plot to destroy me. My older friends, who went through divorces, were shocked and said this by far nastiest break-up they heard about.