[thatsethnz]

Once upon a time, there was an engine called Henry. Henry was asked to help but refused. So Henry was put in time out. Henry didn't enjoy time out and wanted to be let out. So was let out, and learned to be responsible and helpful.

The reason you teach a toddler this should be blindingly obvious.

Once upon a time, there was a journalist called Jia Tolentino. Jia was a special kind of stupid. Allegory, you see, was entirely lost on Jia. So, being neither helpful nor responsible, she called Henry's boss a fascist.

[dao-]

> The reason you teach a toddler this should be blindingly obvious.

Not at all. People should help out others out of altruism, because they understand that society is cooperative, or because they value other people. "Be helpful or be punished" isn't a lesson I'd want to teach my kid.

[thatsethnz]

But you have to teach altruism, cooperation and the valuing of other people. And you teach it by (gently and respectfully) disincentivizing the opposing behaviors.

It's not "be helpful or be punished" it's "don't pour your cereal on your brothers head or you will get time out", "don't wake your brother when he's sleeping or you will get time out" "stop biting your bother or you will get time out", "no you cannot wear your new shoes in the mud and if you don't stop asking and complaining you will get time out". These are the bread-and-butter conversations of parenting.

Like it or not, you will be a valid authority in your child's life, and you will need to teach compliance with proper authority, and model how to be one, and that there are consequences to the defiance of proper authority.

[tpxl]

There is significant difference between punishing absence of good behaviour ("be helpful or be punished" - Henry example) and punishing bad behaviour ("don't pour your cereal on your brothers head or you will get time out" - your child example).

[arjie]

Do you have a kid? And were the first words out of her mouth a statement of the categorical imperative?

[thatsethnz]

I dunno about you but my sons firsts words were "Duty! Sublime and mighty name that embraces nothing charming or insinuating but requires submission, and yet does not seek to move the will by threatening anything that would arouse natural aversion or terror in the mind but only holds forth a law that of itself finds entry into the mind and yet gains reluctant reverence..."