[PeterisP]

"I have realized I often behave first, and then come up with the narrative to understand my own behavior." -> I recall a book https://www.amazon.com/Why-Everyone-Else-Hypocrite-Evolution... that explores the same concept; and one of the thesis there is that, using the analogy of a government for a brain, we like to think that our conscious internal monologue is the president in charge, but actually it's more like a press secretary observing and describing events and decisions after they've been made; our rational brain is literally rationalizing our actions, eagerly inventing reasons why we did when it doesn't want to disclose the real reason (like our politicians do) or when it can't know the real reason (for e.g. split brain patients). Our conscious self is usually not in charge - it can influence and nudge our actions, it can make plans, but it's ultimately up to the other parts of our brains whether the plan will be followed or we'll do something else.

[mindways]

<nod> I've read "The Happiness Hypothesis", which explores the same concept - the analogy it uses is that our subconscious mind is like an elephant, our conscious mind its rider. If the elephant doesn't have much of an opinion about where it should be going, the rider can guide it. But if the elephant wants to go one way, the rider can't do much about it.

(Though the rider can, slowly over time, train the elephant in certain things. But that's not in-the-moment control.)

IIRC - it's been a while since I read it - part of the book's point is that the whole system of elephant + rider is "us", even though the conscious POV is just the rider.

https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Hypothesis-Finding-Modern-A...