The point of cryptocurrency is to restore privacy in financial matters, not become part of the new centralized financial establishment. The OP doesn't believe in financial privacy, so there is no way cryptocurrency will ever be acceptable to him. He believes in mass surveillance of currency transfers, something which is anathema to a significant segment of the population.
Decentralized exchanges can make regulation easy. When you cash out, you have to provide the transaction on the blockchain where you purchased those coins, and at what cost basis. If the transaction was private, you have to provide the means for the government to view the private details.
You can choose not to do that, and if you do, the IRS will assume the cost basis was $0.
I'm have been buying crypto for years, and I'm perfectly happy with that - it gives me the option for privacy, but at a cost.
That just basically supports the OP.
Every thread devolves to how to avoid taxes, kyc etc.