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by mattlondon
3200 days ago
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Anecdote: I had always been told I was intelligent and clever. When it came to the exams everyone takes as a 15/16 year old in the UK I distinctly remember thinking to myself something like: "everyone has to be able to pass these exams, so I should be able to pass easily without much effort since I am one of the clever kids". I didn't cheat, but my line of thought led me to a fairly disappointing set of results (as you'd expect). Even now I think of myself as "smarter than the average bear", but I have the feeling that people were just telling me that because they were my parent/grand parent/friendly neighbor/aunt etc and now it is SET IN STONE IN MY BRAIN after years of reinforcement as a child. What really confuses me though, is how can I think I am smarter than average, yet suffer from near constant impostor-syndrome? :-) |
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I was homeschooled for much of my childhood and first went to a public school my Junior year of high school. I didnt think of myself as exceptionally smart - average at best. I was in a English class one day half way through the year when the teacher was putting us into group. A girl he paired me up with said, "Yay he's smart!" and that was the first time I ever thought I was a "smart" kid. That was a town in Vermont where the public education system was not very good.
Later when I went to college I realized I was just about average at most things, a bit above average at some, and significantly below average at many things (due to poor homeschooling).
As an adult I realize that I'm more intelligent than the average joe but when I'm in a room of professors or even people who have a passion for studying and learning I can tell I'm simply not at the same level as them.