[onetwotree]

I got massively addicted to drugs and alcohol in college. Flunked out and bounced around through various stages of homelessness and unemployment, putting my programming skills to use to score a few bucks when I could stay sober long enough, then typically getting fired. I spent most of my 20s falling to deeper and deeper bottoms before I started to take recovery seriously. I finally "got it" by diving head first into 12-step programs (not for everyone, YMMV, etc).

Tomorrow I'll have 3 years clean and sober. I have a sick job (even by HN standards), wonderful relationships, more money than I know what to do with, a credit score that's slowly recovering, friends who actually give a fuck about me, and all that good stuff that I think a lot of us take for granted.

Recovery works, folks.

[taylorswift_]

Congrats on 3 years! If I don't pick up a drink by Jan I'll have two years myself.

At the end of my twenties the floor literally dropped out from under me. I had a good job as a software dev at fairly large media company, had nice apartment, ambitions etc. But I had deep dark secrets that I kept hidden and throughout my twenties I drank and used drugs (coke/pills) over. I considered my upbringing to be pretty normal in a middle-class neighborhood on the West Cost, and I started drinking and partying in high school like everyone else. However I found myself drinking progressively more towards the end of my twenties and no longer a party it was more to cope with stress, anxiety, and life in general.

I ended up losing multiple high-paying jobs, flying around the country trying to restart, going to about 6 rehabs in ~2 years, losing my mind, losing all hope, wanting to die. I almost died a few separate times from acute alcohol withdrawal. I was fired from one job with an internationally recognized media company the morning after I had seizures from coming off alcohol in a rehab. It got to the point where every time I drank alcohol, I ended up detoxing in a hospital. Finally somewhere in that dark period I was able to get honest with a therapist for the first time in my life about some sexual abuse that had happened when I was younger, and about the other addictions like pornography that plagued my life in my twenties. I got sober for 1.5 years and relapsed one more time, this time it was the final wake up call I needed.

Fast forward and I'm the ceo of a startup company prepping to launch an amazing product, I've been a successful consultant helping build another product that is currently in operational use processing millions of dollars in financial transactions, I feel completely resurrected in mind, body and soul. I have a mens meeting I go to weekly, I go to AA, I workout 4-5 days a week, I eat healthier than ever in my life, and I get regular sleep.

The urge to drink or use drugs has completely left my body and mind. I have traveled all over, spent some of the best time with my friends and family, started my life in a new city, made amends, and found tools to help deal with life on lifes terms.

I hated 12 steps and tried everything possible including drinking to work around it but in the end I'm thankful it's there and I go to meetings regularly.

The most shocking thing to me now is both when I think about how far I've come, and how lucky I am to be alive.

No one ever tells you when you're young that you can live a perfectly normal, fulfilling, and happy life without using drugs or alcohol!

Congrats again and thanks for your share.

[rblion]

thanks for the hope because I can completely relate.

So glad I asked this question here, I have no reason to feel like a fuck up because there is still time to change. I am 27 and improving each day/week/month, I just get hung up on 'what if' sometimes.

this whole thread is helping me a lot

[rblion]

thanks for the hope, congrats on 3 years! thats over 1000 days. I can relate to your story a lot. I have started to take recovery very seriously for the first time and so far at 114 days without drinking or pot. about 2 months without meat. 10 days without buying a pack of cigs. almost debt free. I go to a 12-step group and also a recovery-based meditation group.

Moved back home at the end of May to focus on recovery. I was out in Utah for a coding bootcamp, got kicked out halfway through for smoking weed when my roommate told on me because he didn't like that I was doing well there (he went through my room while I was in Moab and told the police where I kept my weed), got a full refund because I still got a job without their help. Worked at a sketchy startup for a few months, learned a lot about what I wanted and shattered a lot of my misconceptions about the tech industry. Started working as a developer at a hosting company after but the company laid off 1000 people including me right after I signed a lease. They fired me before I got any severance because I came in hungover one day. Led to more drinking and smoking, really fucked me up inside feeling like a recurring fuck up.

Using everything I learned in Utah to start an agency. Got a few quality clients now ranging from a film composer in Hollywood, a fitness model from Miami, a dog clothing company, a Native American photographer. Going to AZ to see the Grand Canyon next week, then Colombia for an ayahuasca retreat in October to heal from PTSD from childhood trauma.

Saving up for an SUV, better camping gear, and going to work remotely next year as I explore North America. Going to be a 'creative developer' and nature photographer at the same time.