[matkoboska]

You are on a cocktail party. Have had a few drinks with friends. You all start talking about spiders. How they are these wonderful tiny creatures to be protected. You know, they got rid of insects and it's actually good to be above this. After all we have intellects, a sense of morality, and a will. We're not some freaking lobsters driven by phobias. And you know what? At this wonderful evening party, we all agree, that this is just the case. And then we all go home. Where, right after opening the door, you see this diguisting, big spider crawling on the floor. Without thinking twice you crash it with your shoe. And then -- using toilet paper perhaps -- pick up its remains and flush it in the toilet. Just to be sure that the motherfucker is really dead. Not to mention your 3 year old and 5 year old living in this house. And then, then, you realize. What happened? Just talked about it an hour ago. And then I got rid of this poor bastard anyway...

In a social setting, with people around having conversations, your brain cortex fires off. It's spinning like crazy. And the cortex is all about logic. It's all about intellect, a sense of morality, about a will, and group hierarchy, and talking, and relaxation. You get the picture. When the phobia kicks in... guess what... the first thing that will happen is that cortisol will turn off your cortex. In the stressful situation, in fight or run situation, your cortex is switched off brother. That's why this spider is dead. That's why after 30 years of perfect marriage you might do stupid things when 23 year old hot blonde is sexually provoking you. That's why live isn't white and black. Even in 2017.

[atapaiea]

Or, like my father-in-law, you go and grab a paper towel, pick up the spider, and let it go outside on front lawn. I have never seen him kill a spider. And some percentage of the time, more and more with each passing year, even though I am terrified of spiders, I don't kill them because of conversations like the one you describe.

Just because some people react with their emotion doesn't mean everyone does and it doesn't mean we have to.

[csomar]

This depends on your up-rising for the most part. When I was very young, there was this spider that had its house below my small desk. I grew up accustomed to these spiders and didn't allow my mother to clean them up.

Now, I don't fear spiders and also don't mind them as long as they don't wreak the place with their filaments. I was surprised when a cousin of mine was freaked out by one of them and wanted to insta-kill it.

Now if there is a bug... that's a whole different story. Even though, logically thinking, these beasts are the same.

[BearGoesChirp]

>I have never seen him kill a spider.

Given how many spiders are only inside or only outside spiders, you basically just said you seen him sending the spiders to their death. The person smashing the spider isn't much different than the person putting it outside.

Not the best source, but a good starting point: https://www.livescience.com/48479-spider-myths-busted.html

>Just because some people react with their emotion doesn't mean everyone does and it doesn't mean we have to.

And yet consider the example you gave in light of the current body of evidence.

[danans]

Most serious people who talk about preserving insects and arachnids do so because these animals provide the feed-stock for other animal populations, similar to plankton in the oceans, and they are an indicator of the health of an ecosystem, not because they are taken with their appearance (although of course some people do genuinely love their appearance).

One can easily espouse something like that while not wanting a big spider scurrying around in your house. Also, plenty of people (myself included) escort such spiders outside alive instead of smashing them, not the least because I don't want to smear their guts everywhere, creating more work.

[drewmol]

After the phobia kicks in, after the threat is neutralized, I encourage you to thoughtfully consider not wasting a flush to dispose of the dead spider/toilet paper combo.

[csomar]

> That's why after 30 years of perfect marriage you might do stupid things when 23 year old hot blonde is sexually provoking you.

How is that not logical? Spreading your genes to healthy young women seems like a straightforward choice.

[vidarh]

It might be beneficial to the propagation of your genes and still really bad for your personal life.

[ionised]

If spreading your genes is your only goal in life, sure.

[emodendroket]

> That's why after 30 years of perfect marriage you might do stupid things when 23 year old hot blonde is sexually provoking you.

Actually you have to make a number of conscious decisions to have an affair. "It just happened" is an excuse.

[rublev]

Nobody said that. They're saying you cannot reason yourself out of your boner. Just that the impulse will always be there, I just choose to ignore it.

[emodendroket]

My reading of the post above yours, in the context of the conversation it appears in, is that you cannot overcome your instincts so there's no point in even trying to rein them in. If it just means to say we don't live up to our ideals all the time, well, OK, that's true, but I don't see where it's going.