[tptacek]

Your attitude about this is reasonable, but you're extrapolating to a position that is harder to defend.

Your agreement with your nephew is defensible and enforceable. You fund his education, he provides you with his grades. That makes sense.

But that agreement is between you and your nephew, not you and your nephew's school. So much is that the case that at some state schools (I know it's at least true at Illinois, where we just sent our son), they won't allow students to sign FERPA consent forms for release of grades on days when parents are likely to be present.