For reference, I live in the suburbs of Los Angeles so prices are lower than in the Bay area. I make $200k and my wife makes $100k working part time as a registered nurse. Flexible schedules mean we can spend lots of time with our daughter and travel quite a bit.
Software engineer starting salaries in companies like Amazon/Google/FB etc are close to 100k or more. So breaking that mark as an engineer is very much possible.
I was at $155k as a W2 software engineer at my last company...that seemed to be a ceiling for engineers in Los Angeles. I had to become a director of engineering to get to $175k.