[davemp]

Not trying to offend, but . . .

> If I enjoy xyz, who are you to judge me for that?

I find this (common) sentiment troubling and frankly a bit arrogant.

Whether or not you enjoy something is not always good metric for said thing's long term effects on your life.

Other people have experienced different things than you and may have some really good insights. Assuming you know exactly what's best strikes me as arrogant. Judgement and ostracization, while often misused, are effective tools for a society to encourage beneficial behaviours.

[TeMPOraL]

> Judgement and ostracization, while often misused, are effective tools for a society to encourage beneficial behaviours.

Conforming behaviours. Not beneficial. One could argue that conforming to mainstream is beneficial for the society, though I personally don't buy it - if you look at what the average of human interests is, it's all pretty petty. If we were all stuck at the lowest common denominator, I'm not sure if we would get far as a civilization.

Now, one good argument I've heard for following the "mainstream wisdom" on "getting a life" is regret - i.e. that if you won't live a life in a particular way (lots of social interactions, focusing on a spouse and kids, etc.) you'll regret that on your deathbed. I'm still relatively young (in the lower half of my expected lifespan), so I might be wrong about it, but I don't buy that argument either. I've come to the conclusion that regret will happen anyway - people basically regret what they didn't do. If I focus on cranking out widgets, I'll regret not spending time with the kids. If I focus on my family, I'll regret not doing anything actually useful with my life. Etc.

Bottom-line: I think that currently, the pendulum is still too far on the conforming side.

[davemp]

I wasn't commenting on the particular issue. I was merely saying that "who are you to judge me?" is a peer in society. Our lives are interconnected to varying degrees and your life will definately affect others.

Everyone should definately recieve input on how they're living their lives. Some input may not be valuable, but unilaterally dismissing it is hubris.

I'm not arguing for some extreme where people are stoned in the streets. Just that you should entertain some feedback from society.

For example: I was eating lunch outside and staring at my phone the whole time. An older lady came up and said that I should put my phone away, slow down, and just enjoy the weather/my lunch. I gave it some thought and decided that she was right. Now I conciously try to use meals as a true break and it's been refreshing. Valuable input.

Another example: I was out on a rainy day. I was wearing a JHU raincoat (had for $3 from a clearance rack) + boat shoes and someone said I should be careful about what I wear lest people think I'm "white priviledged".

Personally, I think that's bullshit, but I was still respectful. I probably won't be taking their advice, but their input might actually be valuable.

[chii]

> Whether or not you enjoy something is not always good metric for said thing's long term effects on your life.

But isn't this the very definition of judging"?

When people say "get a life", they are implicitly saying that you current life isn't up to measure (by their own values).

[echion]

I think you're agreeing with the post to which you're replying.