| What sorts of lies are we talking about? What context? "I love your new haircut!" is a very different lie from "I used to be pen pals with Barack Obama". Telling a creepy stranger at a bar "I have a boyfriend" is a different sort of lie than saying the same thing to your friend who lives across the country. And "I've got food poisoning" is a very different "I can't come into work today" excuse/lie than "my grandmother just died". In each of these juxtapositions, people will judge you less harshly (and you should probably judge yourself less harshly) for the former lie than the latter. The difference basically boils down to the fact that it's normal, it's not especially harmful, and to a degree it's expected that people sometimes tell transient untruths to grease the wheels of social interaction or get out of an uncomfortable situation. What's not OK or accepted is to tell lies that misrepresent yourself, your history, or your life situation to someone with whom you have an ongoing personal or professional relationship. If you're telling the former type of lies, I suggest you find a way to live with the fact that you and everyone else tell them and probably always will. If you're telling the latter type, you may want to engage in some self-examination as to why. It's the sort of choice that can get you into major difficulties, and it's the sort of problem you can even get professional help for. |