[jsnathan]

Knowing that you have less than people somewhere far away isn't necessarily a strong motivation to desire more. The one's wanting to flee the regime are those who are oppressed by it. That isn't everyone though. There are always many people who find the status quo perfectly tolerable, else it would not be stable.

Generally, most people only care if they have more than their neighbors (re: materialism) and about their standing in the community they are embedded in (re: ideology).

This creates a self-reinforcing effect. For example, while most people will say that they [edit: the NK elite] are worried about their families being hurt, I would argue they are more primarily worried that their families and friends will disapprove.

Sure there is a real risk to dissenters, but you don't start out as a full-blown dissenter; you start out embedded in the society with maybe some innate doubts about certain things. It's the internalization of the projected negative reactions of those around you (basically your 'conscience') that makes people unlikely to ever allow themselves to mentally oppose the regime, if they have no strong incentives to do so (i.e. suffering unbearable hardships and oppression - and again this is often judged relative to what your neighbors are going through).

As a government scientist in NK you are part of the elite, so you're a pretty good position. You're essentially in equilibrium with your environment and I would imagine something would have to come in and shatter that equilibrium before you would consider going against everyone around you.