| It seems like a major personality crisis for me. Any crisis makes you feel bad and personality crisis all the more so. But there is a bright side, personality crisis is a chance to grow above your head. I agree with existential psychology on it. I believe that you can help youself by learning some bits of development and existential psychology. Development psychology describes some common kinds of personality crises, and it helps to understand what going on when dealing with concrete life story. Existential psychology can give advice what to do. So my advice is don't start making abrupt changes in your life right now. I think that your last failures can make anyone to feel depressed and to lose faith in himself. You can stop trying to find your place in tech, but it not be good to do it just because you feel depressed. Give youself some time to learn youself, at least half a year. Read some books or talk with psychologist -- some kind of existential psychologist will do, I believe. As for books, I personally greatly like Kegan.[1] If you see that "kicked in three month" is a pattern, and you don't understand what precisely causes it, I believe that it needs some research. It is hard to do such a research without external help, it can take years of struggling to understand is cause external or internal, if it is some of your psychological traits causes it or something else. You need someone with whom you will be able to discuss this topic honestly. Again psychologist is one of the options. The others is some close relative, it is better if she thoughtful person and about thirty or older. There are two opposite possibilities for you, either take sharp turns on your life path, or try to adapt. I assure you that in either way this is not the last time when you face such a choice in your life. So right now the most important goal is to learn how to deal with it. How to make conscious decision that will lead you to success and happy life. It is impossible to master this, but nevertheless it becomes easier with practice. [1] https://vividness.live/2015/10/12/developing-ethical-social-... |