| > Statistically, 4 in 10 people who say "I do" will be proved wrong eventually Being proven wrong does not make you a liar, nor dishonest. A commitment question is not a probability question, it asks whether you are in or out. Is it more honest to answer "probably" when asked whether you want another card when drawing 14 at blackjack? Are you dishonest if it turns out you made a mistake? > the majority of us say we want to pair for life, a very large proportion of us actually do not want that. So...the one group should force their viewpoint on the other? > We need to be more honest and rational, to ourselves and to others. I think I am being completely honest and rational. I don't tell my kids mummy and daddy will be together for ever, I tell them what the plan is. > The costs to society are clearly enormous Do you mean social costs or financial costs? How are the costs reduced if there is no marriage (except for in litigious societies, and if you removed marriage in them then lawsuits would simply shift to the next level)? > Our cultural and legal concept of marriage is very specific Yours or mine? You state that "marriage is a lie". I think it is not for everyone, but some people like it. In my country, the costs of divorce are near-zero. Maybe it is expensive in some countries. Why then is that a problem with marriage, and not with that countries legal and social system? Why is marriage "a lie"? Why is it dishonest to say "I do"? Edit: Note that I think you are very likely right about marriage needing reform in the way that it fits into some modern societies. However, the terms you use to describe many people's happy lifestyles, people who may well think about things just as much as you, are somewhat inflammatory. My marriage is one of the best things in my life, and having it described as a lie and myself described as dishonest is offensive, I guess. Society has changed a lot, but maybe marriage is not the thing that needs changing to fix the problems you see. |