[osullivj]

HR are not your friends. The clue is in the name: human resources. You are just a resource to be managed. And managed out if you become a problem. HR's main function is reducing legal exposure risk due to harassment lawsuits etc. That, and removing human resources that have become a liability. IMHO you should write up a set of notes on the jokes and physical behavior, and anything else that you can think of that will make HR think that firing you will cause them more legal grief than keeping you on.

[mattbgates]

HR, bosses, co-workers are not friends .... when it comes down to it: they will save their own asses over yours, no matter what. I had run into a bunch of problems at work.. when other people joked, it was fine, but when I'd joke.. very similar to everyone else.. nothing that was sexual or would be deemed inappropriate, yet it somehow turned into a big deal always. It got so bad that I was called into a meeting by my supervisor and boss and I almost got fired.

So I pretty much stopped joking around, stopped joking with everyone, no longer trust anyone, and now I just show up to work, put on my headphones, do my job, and go home when my shift is done. At company parties, I go for the free food, talk to whoever talks to me, and then I leave. It's safer this way. I'm not sure what it is about me, but I feel I was targeted. So they've shaped me into exactly what they wanted me to be: a coding machine who does his job without question, without emotion, and that's pretty much it.

Fortunately, I did fine one or two people at work that I can joke with in private messages, so that keeps me somewhat sane.

[corporateslave3]

This is how you never move up to high paid positions. You need to develop relationships with people across the business to do well.

[mattbgates]

Nice name LOL.

Good advice... but I've accepted that where I work, I'll never move up in higher paid or any company positions. Like I said, I was targeted and they were trying to get rid of me for a long time.

I've already been passed over for promotions and my fate was already sealed... this was very clear to me when I was going through my ordeal for months. Several female co-workers noticed what was going on, actually stepped in, and defended me, until finally the bosses and supervisors left me alone. These female co-workers are now in senior positions and I'm happy for them as I feel it was well deserved. It sucks that these women had to protect me, but even when I stood up for myself, it is probably what nearly got me fired.

Don't get me wrong, I love my job, I love what I do and I'm not miserable where I work, but I've tried to make relationships happen, but the damage is done, and so is my branding. While I've been able to repair some of the damage, it can never fully be mended. I do get my daily raises and bonuses per company standards, but anything besides that will probably never happen.

While I've accepted what is, I'm not just someone who accepts the fate of such, and I've started up a few side businesses that have helped compensate me for what I will never "make at work". I see it as my opportunity to make more money. Eventually, I hope that my main job will be a secondary job for me.