[hgl]

I'm a stutter too. My condition is a bit special I think. When I'm alone, I don't stutter at all if I think out loud or just read something on the screen, every scary word turns into a piece of cake. But as soon as I realize someone can hear me (even if it's remote like video chat), I start to stutter, pretty badly. I wonder if other people are in the same camp.

I didn't stutter when I was kid until I played with a neighbor kid who did, and it frightened me that I might stutter like him whenever I need to talk. As time progresses, the frightening reinforced, and I never grew out of it. I wonder if it qualifies as classical conditioning?

I also speak other languages, and the severity is different in different languages.

[vigliag]

As a child I used to stutter when reading aloud to myself. Practicing by reading whole books aloud helped a lot. Some books were more difficult than others, especially those with really weird sentence structure, or really short sentences, which used to get me out of the flow.

With practice, I stopped stuttering when reading aloud altogether, and then even when reading to other people (family members first). Talking to people however it's completely different matter, and it's still hard for me.

I think there's some common difficulty curve. For me, things that became easy with time (even when I've stopped practicing by reading aloud) are, in order: reading aloud to myself, talking with siblings and parents, reading aloud to others, explaining technical matters to friends, talking to younger colleagues, and lately talking to friends, even on the phone.

Talking to strangers is still difficult. I also find it gets harder the more unexpected is what I'm trying to say (for example, saying "sorry, I couldn't hear you, could you repeat that please?" instead of answering a question).

Partially related: there's a /r/Stutter subreddit (which I haven't opened in years), if you want to read about some other people's experiences.

[jansho]

My stutter is minor but definitely rears its ugly head when I'm stressed. Reading aloud also works for me, as well as singing and boisterous conversations (!) I think that rather than confidence (at least for me) the key is to keep the voice going and maintain a normal 'speed' throughout.

Regarding your strangers problem, honestly you're being too harsh to yourself. You won't get judged for asking a question to be repeated!

[vigliag]

That's for sure a factor, and I should probably care less about judgement (thanks) although I've mainly attributed my stuttering in those situations to the fact I have to say something unexpected. Other examples are when I need to correct myself (I get stuck in something like a loop of "actually no"), or when I say I need to hang up and call back later. I also often find it difficult to say "goodbye" to people without first acquiring eye contact, or in general to say something to people while they are doing something else and haven't noticed me approaching.

[jansho]

Sigh, yes I can relate to that. Others here mentioned that it's mental gymnastics, and I would add that crucial to the strategy also is to develop a thicker skin to protect yourself. Because the truth is, it'll always stay with you, no matter how hard you try, so it's best to be content with getting embarrassed now! And hey, that's how you learn anyway.

I used to hate answering phone calls. Then one day an admin from my team left and suddenly I had to do customer services too. The first two days was just awful, it's not even worth describing here. By third day, I had mapped out a script to read out from (and my team weirded out). By third week, I'd known the script by heart, and can comfortable say hello without any sweat patches. And now I can take unknown phone calls civilly.

Practice and exposure definitely helps, with a dose of immunity to what others think :)

[rdtsc]

> When I'm alone, I don't stutter at all if

From a sample of N=2, I can say that's pretty typical ;-)

But to be serious, I don't think that's uncommon.

> I didn't stutter when I was kid until I played with a neighbor kid who did,

Ah interesting. That reminded me that my cousin also stutters and well when we played together, we both got worse after a while. My parents noticed that. I also noticed after I watched or listen some stutter, I'd stutter more. I wonder if that that's why I never really wanted that Kings' Speech movie. I think I maybe be unconsciously afraid of picking it up...

Oh and I also speak other languages too, and have wondered if it that made it worse. That is having to learn two at the same time when I was a child.

[shanev]

Your condition isn't special. Everyone who stutters doesn't when they are alone. Neurologically, it's a defect in processing external feedback to what we are saying. If no one is listening, there is no feedback.