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by InternetUser 3243 days ago
> Now, the awkward silence never occurs in the first place. It's been entirely replaced by everyone scrolling the feeds on their phones. To start a conversation, you have to proactively interrupt what the person is doing and ask for their attention.

That is exactly right. No one can be bothered to exert the effort to carry on a relationship--not when their handheld Internet has an ocean of stuff that's easily more entertaining and less judgmental or potentially problematic, whether that content is memes, videos, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter posts, or incoming text messages, which now look more like rebuses, with the emojis. I saw a very representative meme that said "In the early 2000s, it was 'Why would I text message someone when I can just call them" and now it's 'Why would I call someone when I can just text message them?'" The asynchronous nature of those communications, and how the contact is divided across multiple services, whether text message, WhatsApp, Kik, Instagram, or whichever, makes it that the user gets used to having low expectations for the reliability of their dozens or hundreds of online "friends," and of course Facebook redefined that very word.

See this statistic from a recent article in The Atlantic published just the other day:

> The number of teens who get together with their friends nearly every day dropped by more than 40 percent from 2000 to 2015; the decline has been especially steep recently. It’s not only a matter of fewer kids partying; fewer kids are spending time simply hanging out.

"Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation? - More comfortable online than out partying, post-Millennials are safer, physically, than adolescents have ever been. But they’re on the brink of a mental-health crisis."

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/09/has-the...

And the New York Post had an article saying that those in the next oldest generation (Generation, or I suppose "pre-Millennials") should try to address those problems, as though people in their 30s and 40s aren't glued to their phone screens as well:

> Generation X needs to save America from millennials

http://nypost.com/2017/08/05/generation-x-needs-to-save-amer...

Wikipedia: Generation Z and their use of technology and social media:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation_Z#Technology_and_so...

1 comments

Idleness is dead. We're constantly picking up novel stimuli and concepts, getting triggered by emotional politics/entertainment, and following infinite trends... as soon as our minds are idle, we immediately jump back to the things we've been absorbing, or feel that obsessive itch to scan for new stimuli.

What happened to being bored? To doing things, not because they were "cool" or even "fun", but simply because there was time that had to be killed? Going out because there was nothing inside, and meeting other bored people, connecting on anything because it was better than nothing?

Technology is raising the "minimum acceptable interest level" for activities - killing our mental slack, the slack where offline novelty could slip in.

I've been thinking about it for a while, but this thread has made my decision. Next time I'm off-call, 3pm tomorrow, I'm going to cut the cord. Unplug the modem and tell my friends I'm only answering phone calls (disable data) - no internet outside of work.

I want to feel bored again. Not brief moments of boredom, the hours of boredom I felt as a kid, the boredom that drove me to do new things... instead of today's boredom, that merely leads me to learn new things.

Going out because there was nothing inside, and meeting other bored people, connecting on anything because it was better than nothing?

To me, that's an alien experience. I was and am never bored when I'm alone, I just think and imagine. I only get bored when I have to pay attention to boring stuff that prevents me from drifting off.

I grew up without internet/tv/cellphones - books, art, and dreaming was the first line of defense from boredom, but eventually they ran dry after weeks of repetition.
Yeah, going offline to get bored and do stuff is a good solution. Joining classes, meetups or workout groups can also work well.