[o2l]

I can strongly relate to your situation. To me it felt like there is a constant unrest in life, you are not happy about how things are but not that motivated either to change overnight.

The quickest way to get what you want is trying out small changes which can have big impact on your day, which gives you hope that you can change.

Below are such small changes that made a big impact on me. I have come to know about these methods from the book "Mind Hacking" by Sir John Hargrave. It is a free GitBook and I strongly recommend it. Not a long read. -

1. Mindfulness Meditation -

  I follow the below order

  - Be aware of your breath for some time
  - Be aware of your thoughts for some time ( don't fight them. Let them free but observe )
  - Identify negative loops (Things that you believe in or repeatedly say to yourself that puts you down. Eg. I am a bad dancer)
  - Write positive loop for each negative loop ( Eg. I love dancing. Literally write this on a piece of paper everyday for a couple of times. It is to make it stick in your head )
  - Simulate situations in your head which you are afraid to face or are confused about.
  - Think of the best possible future situation, 4-5 years down the line. Think in as much detail as possible.
  - Think of the perfect day where you get everything done exactly as you wanted to. Again, think in as much detail as possible.

  Also, try to stay mindful of your actions and thoughts throughout the day. It will help you control yourself and your unwanted habits like checking phone frequently or procrastinating.

  You don't have to identify negative & redefine positive loops everyday unless needed.

  This routine takes 15-20 minutes in the morning and has helped me be clear minded and motivated throughout the day.

  I owe my current job ( which I am very happy with ) to this routine. It inspired me do things I won't normally do. The rush of positive energy I felt during the first few days was something I have never felt before, as if I was high on something very strong but positive.

2. Writing down a detailed to-do list the night before

  You have to make a list of things you think you can do the next day and write them down in the exact order you want to do them in. Keep the list very practical and write in on a piece of paper or white board. Try not to do it on your phone.

  Then, on the next day strike out the things you have done. This will give you a clear sense of accomplishment and in case you are ahead of schedule, it will motivate you to do even better.

  This also eliminates the need of thinking what to do during the day and you will have very less confusion.

  I implemented this a few days ago and it was the most productive and satisfying day I have had in several months, not just work wise but on a personal level.

The key in both the above methods is that you are actively taking effort in the process of figuring out what you really want to do in life or just the next day. Implementing either one of the methods would only take 15-20 minutes of actual thinking every day, so give it a try.

[o2l]

Also, email me if you need to talk about this. Sharing thoughts about this kind of stuff always helps.