| > But I think you missed my point. I've seen people bond over this kind of behavior, but never seen someone hurt buy it. How would you know? Are you confident everyone around you would be comfortable telling you that your behavior hurt them? > My comment was "It's not the same as sexism, but there are often jokes and discussions that mock my deeply held religious beliefs". Hey. I wanna draw a line here as well. These conversations are ALSO not work appropriate, in the same sense that it is not appropriate for a Christian to suggest gay people don't deserve equal rights. Those topics are best left out of the workplace. > I'm not saying she should shut up and be okay with this. I'm saying everyone is in control of their own emotions. This is false, according to the science. What's more, keeping a tight reign on one's behavior comes at a mental cost, and that energy could be better spent elsewhere. > You can limit the amount of influence you allow others to have over your emotions. Please consider updating your information here. This is victorian era stuff. > I also find the accusation of gaslighting unfair. This is a form of systematic psychological manipulation I think you're complicit in gaslighting. You're suggesting we have more empathy for the people causing pain because they just don't know. You deflect talk of gender harassment by re-centering the conversation on religious beliefs. Then you STILL rebutt her feelings by saying SHE specifically should be in more control. Yes, it's a pretty big deal. But I think maybe yours is the more honest sort of gaslighting, where you're conditioned to accept this behavior. I suspect if you critically examine it more you'll realize that the cons of allowing it far outweigh the pros. |