[pas]

I have teammates and we curse/swear/foulmouth/trashtalk like a deployed infantry unit, but sometimes we have clients/partners/friends over, and we somehow make it through without any fucks or other expeltives. Pretty magical, huh?

It's social aptitude, some people just have less of it. (No wonder they hadn't become lawyers, doctors, politicians.)

Basic rule is try to accomodate others if it's no problem for you. If it is, discuss it, and settle on the professional/formal way if others feel your preferences are too far from theirs.

Constantly monitor others' well being. For most people it's automatic, for some autists it's literally impossible.

Again, it's a safe default to be formal/professional, and then ease up, if all parties feel okay with that.

[root_axis]

If we lived in a world where everyone was capable of assessing and respecting appropriate boundaries we wouldn't need professional standards at all, the entire point of professionalism is to remove the ambiguity so that these types of issues can be avoided. The swearing/foulmouth/trashtalk culture does not scale, you need to be able to bring on new employees and not worry about them getting cursed out because someone misjudged their comfort levels; and contrary to what you seem to be implying, you don't need to be autistic to misjudge someone's comfort levels, people are complicated and at some point, someone will get it wrong, and then you have a ton of wasted productivity while harmless jokes become office drama.

Also, there is a big distinction between an environment where moderate but restrained use of profanity is accepted as normal adult language and an environment where your co-workers are discussing their genitals and other sexual topics.

[pas]

I know I (and anyone) can and someties do misjudge others' comfort level. But part of becoming a team means getting to know each others' stregths, weaknesses, preferences and so on. And communication about communication is important too. Taking into account authority is important too. (A team lead or any higher up has to be very sure about the above not to misjudge the appropriate language used.)

So, yes, drama drains productivity, but being a faceless cold drone hurts it too. Team fit is important. (And it's very important to recognize that there's a difference between communication style and abuse, disrespect, lack of empathy, etc. And discussing sexual topics might be ok, might be not. I've seen/heard it done in a fun way and too many times in a cringeworthy way. Luckily, I haven't seen/heard it in a seriously bad/offensive/harrassing way.)

[root_axis]

There are some topics we can keep off limits in the workplace without causing our employees to be "cold faceless drones". You can have lots of fun in the office without bringing sex into the mix, it causes more problems than its worth. I'm not saying that any mention of sex ever should be cause for firing, and obviously if you have a couple good friends in the office and you make some risque jokes at your own risk assuming only they are within earshot, by definition there will be no consequences for it, but if someone overhears your dick jokes and feels uncomfortable, that's your fault. It doesn't matter if the uncomfortable person is a prude, a religious nut, a super-sensitive SJW or just someone that finds sexual topics distracting, there is no reason why sex should be discussed in the office. There is a large breadth of sexual topics that very subjectively range between "totally just a joke" and "totally disgusting", and I can guarantee there are lines of sexual discussion that you might find disgusting that others might find acceptable.

[pas]

> there is no reason why sex should be discussed in the office.

real life people work there and they might want to discuss it. that doesn't mean they can ignore the fact that they might be causing discomfort to others, and since it's a workspace where people go to work, other people's comfort in those cases trumps their desire to dicuss whatever.

> I can guarantee there are lines of sexual discussion that you might find disgusting that others might find acceptable.

yes, no surpirse there, but part of working with others involves being able to signal to them what's not okay to you, and it involves (on their part) the unquestioning acceptance.