[throwaway000002]

As a counterpoint to some platitudes expressed here, let me say this: I unequivocally hate my dad. The reasons are complicated, and personal. But there is something I know with absolute certainty. Everything he ever did in relation to me was with the best of intentions, and he always placed my well-being (as seen by him) before his.

Sure, I mostly feel like an ungrateful wretch. And yes, now that he's an old man, I do treat him very poorly and wish he were dead, mainly because it'd save my feelings of guilt with how I treat him.

I wonder if he resents having me. I will never ask him. I fear his reponse, that he'll deny it.

If you're willing to have a kid, I'm one of the ugly corner cases.

I don't have any kids. I'm beyond the age where they're on my radar. Perhaps a relationship with someone a fair bit younger would change that, but I doubt it.

Good luck.

[kohanz]

I'm sorry to hear that. Just to clarify, you're saying you hate your father despite him having done nothing intentionally to deserve that hatred? You're obviously not obliged to go into more detail, but I guess I'm wondering if your message is: "Be warned that you can have kids and do your best as a parent and they might end up hating you anyway"?

[throwaway000002]

The specific part of your comment, which is true, is, yes, I am essentially warning that you can do your absolute best to raise a child and put their interests (as you see it) ahead of your own, and they still may end up hating you for it.

I'm not, however, going to comment on any other part of your response. I just don't want to get into it.

[sp527]

I have a good friend who's in a similar situation and of a similar mindset, so I can empathize to some extent. I'm sorry you're suffering like that.