[gorkonsine]

There's really no way to know without doing an extensive survey/study, but from what I've seen personally in the dating market, I think it's more a case of high-status-career women being overly picky than them running into too many men who refuse to date them because they earn too much. I'm sorry, but if you're 35+, you just can't expect Mr. (or Mrs.) Perfect; those people are already taken, and were off the market sometime in their 20s, probably even in college. The statistics here clearly show women rarely earning more than their husbands, and given how liberal people in large cities (where these high-earning women live) are, I refuse to believe, until I see better evidence, that this is just because of male chauvinism. I have personally seen far too many profiles from these women who specifically say they won't (or are hesitant to) date men without an Ivy-League and/or non-graduate degree, for instance. If you're going to be that snobbish and picky, then no wonder you're still single (esp. these days when women outnumber men in universities, 60% vs. 40%). Believe what you want, but your singular anecdote about one experience with one single man vs. my anecdata about many dozens of women posting their requirements right in their public dating profiles makes me believe I'm right. Moreover, your singular anecdote is easily countered with my own: I have no trouble dating a woman who makes more, yet I've never had any luck dating such a woman, even in a city that's infamous for having a surplus of single women. (FWIW, I'm now dating someone with a good job, but she makes less than me. Honestly, I'd prefer if she made more but I don't make it a requirement in any way, that's just how it worked out.) Of course, you can claim there's something deficient about me, or that I'm aiming too high, but similar can be said of you or the guy who dumped you; a single data point just isn't that useful. But seeing common trends on dozens or hundreds of dating profiles, IMO, is much more so.

As for women primarily making the choice, that's true. Go look at OKC's data: women get FAR more unsolicited messages than men, that's a simple fact. The person who has more options has more power.