Would be nice if we script those Jenkins pipelines with some other languages besides Apache Groovy. And why are Groovy's functional methods inhibited when used within Jenkins?
The reason why you can't use functional methods of Groovy in jenkins is, that the intepreter that runs inside of jenkins has been rebuild so that jenkins can suspend/resume the execution of the pipeline.
This means that everything needs to be serializable, and that in reality you are not really executing groovy statements, but rather passing continuations.
This is a reason why you have @NonCPS annotiation, that allows you to opt-out of that behavior.
FWIW at this point, this kind of demonstrates my point: I think I kind of want a library to build a CI system. Not some piece of software I have to run somewhere (as root, probably), which may enable me do to what I want.
Why hasn't anyone developed a CI-orcherstration library yet? Is it actually a difficult problem?
This means that everything needs to be serializable, and that in reality you are not really executing groovy statements, but rather passing continuations.
This is a reason why you have @NonCPS annotiation, that allows you to opt-out of that behavior.