[jstewartmobile]

If you want kids, have kids--the sooner the better (prime reproductive years, younger grandparents, SV ageism, yadayada). If you don't want kids, don't have kids.

If you reread your questions, you will see that they are incredibly career-centric, so you already have the answer that is right for you.

For the love of all that is holy, please don't have kids (or even a relationship for that matter) as some kind of career accessory.

[daxfohl]

My guess is that he's less career-centric than it sounds on the surface. Reading between the lines, it sounds like he's in at least early 30's, but still awaiting "the moment". So perhaps more of a dreamer.

That's fine, aren't we all. (I am anyway). I'm not so much an entrepreneur nor a careerist, more of a dreamer of "If I had time I'd figure out the General Relativity and Quantum Mechanics discrepancy". I even have ideas. (My day job is as a code monkey).

I ended up having two (so far?) kids at 37 and 39. Initially, I regretted it. Especially the second. With one kid you can kinda still get some free time. With two, you get maybe 30 min per day if you wake up early, but even then you're constantly on high alert with baby monitor(s) in hand. You're not going to solve quantum gravity with that.

Now, youngest is turning 2 soon, I still get not much more than 30 min per day, but I'm happy. I like spending time with them, and let's get real, I wasn't going to solve quantum gravity anyway. OR, as I think to myself, I've got as good a chance of solving it now as I would have if I was single. (Both close enough to zero that calculus doesn't even work anymore).

For that matter, when I'm out of town on assignment, I find I'm actually less productive with my 8 hours of unadulterated free time than I am when I'm limited to an anxious 30 min. And ultimately I wish I was just back home hanging out with them.

So ... that.

[jstewartmobile]

It usually works out better when people do what they want to do then figure out the details, rather than when they do what they have to do and stay bitter about it. From his own admission, his partner is the one who wants kids, while the parent life is the one that he fears.

To me it sounds like he's only pondering this to keep his partner happy. That makes sense for small things like watching a show you don't like or bearing with the in-laws. It is a train wreck waiting to happen when it comes to the big stuff like families and careers. For those situations, it's really time to get a different partner.