[yjlim5]

Interesting how this psychology paper showed up in the context of "making a friend." I had only known of this study as a way of creating romantic relationship, through a NYT Modern Love piece "To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do this."

The method is hardly fast though - it requires two people to set aside a good chunk of time in a quiet setting to fully experience the gradual escalation of self-disclosure. When trying out this method in real life, what about the fact that you chose that one person to try this with? The reasons behind that choice would contribute much a successful result of this method but still left unexplained.

[novia]

I went through all the questions with 3 other people in the same room all at once about 5-6 years ago. I did not know any of them well. We all became friends and are still friends to this day. It was like magic.

[Tepix]

How did it come to pass?

[novia]

One of the other three suggested it, not sure why, and then we did it.

For each question we would take turns answering it. We were allowed to say, "Pass," if the question made us too uncomfortable or, if we couldn't think of a good answer fast enough, we could pass and come back to it after everyone else had answered.

We were already at the level of acquaintances, close enough to be at the same location, hanging out, but I didn't trust any of them yet, and they barely knew me.

[pbhjpbhj]

Did you hang out with other groups of people who you're no longer friends with?

I wonder also if it might be commitment to the experience as much as the experience itself that affirms the bond and establishes a platform for ongoing friendship.

[novia]

Did you hang out with other groups of people who you're no longer friends with?

Yes? One person in particular, I became friends with them extremely quickly about 2 years ago. There was no contrived questionnaire involved, we just clicked, but after one falling out, the bridge was completely burned.

[jackvalentine]

> The method is hardly fast though

A common misconception. The root of the phrase "fast friends" is actually steadfast friends. Meaning friends with a strong bond and sense of duty towards each other.

I too had only heard of this study in terms of the romantic partner thing... I guess it makes sense to apply to any friendship.

Edit: The above is all lies! Well, except the meaning. The phoney etymology is lies. See below.

[jacobolus]

I don’t think it was ever common for people to literally use the phrase “steadfast friends”. The word “fast” by itself meant (and still means sometimes) something like steady or firmly stuck. So “fast friends” per se was always a perfectly fine phrase. It hasn’t been shortened from some other form.

People trying to explain the origin of the phrase “fast friends” point to the word “steadfast” as an example of where this sense of fast persists. You might also notice the same meaning in our words fasten, colorfast, etc.

[jackvalentine]

So, my argument was it was a root, not a commonly used word. I was wrong anyway so it's irrelevant.

Having actually looked in to this now with a bit more detail than "google it to check your understanding and look at the first result":

It appears you're right, and "fast" is derived from faest while steadfast is a combination of steade and... fast.

Fast friends is a perfectly cromulent phrase :)

[WalterGR]

BTW, the person you originally replied to used "fast" as in "quickly," as in the title of this submission.

The "fast friends" etymological discussion is a non sequitur.

[jackvalentine]

That's true.

[OJFord]

I'm still outraged that anyone would want to force a so-called friend to abstain from nutrition.

[WalterGR]

So, and this is honest curiosity re. understanding the HN mindset... why did you go on that tangent when the only thing it shared with the comment you replied to was words in common?

[JumpCrisscross]

> it requires two people to set aside a good chunk of time in a quiet setting to fully experience the gradual escalation of self-disclosure. When trying out this method in real life, what about the fact that you chose that one person to try this with?

You start liberally. When an experience becomes dumb, you abort. TL; DR you meet fun people and make some friends.