[donretag]

"Low ego-identity makes same-sex pairs closer, high ego-identity makes cross-sex pairs closer"

Perhaps this statement is true, but is the end goal for both parties the same?

For some reason, I find myself befriending mainly females (I am male). Yes, I have a high ego. However, I can never tell if the other person is interested in a friendship or something more. I always want to put them in the friend zone, but I have awkward situations in the recent past where these friends have either made subtle and not-so subtle advances. I am not interested in anything more than friendship. I do not want to lead anyone on. So yes, perhaps that pairing works well, but is friendship the goal?

In addition, males tend to bond during "experiences", so what I have been seeking as of late is more male friendships. Other males are more inclined to go on multi-day backpacking adventures. According to this study, males with low-ego are likely to become friends, but I seek high ego/high energy friends.

[fl0wenol]

Don't bother. You aren't going to enjoy yourself as much long term by surrounding yourself with high-ego people; there'll be too much needless conflict and it won't be worth the emotional effort after the fact.

Instead, go for high energy but less ego. At the start deflate your own for their benefit, let your guard down; essentially "putting yourself out". Come down to their level for the first few outings.

Once you have their trust you can back off (slowly) so you don't seem fake or patronizing; if they say something or notice a change in their behavior be honest with them: explain how it's been difficult to make friends with shared interests. Hopefully they will trust you enough to look past any perceived slight and continue the friendship.

You may still need to be conscious of your ego or energy level if there's a big group disparity, you don't want to be singled out because they perceive you as difficult and them have the rest bond over that.

[LoSboccacc]

> being difficult and have the group bond over that.

or, the sociopath way, which is even faster: identify the group difficult subject and join the pileup on it without adding new opinions but just reflecting and circulating those of others in the group.

[pensast]

I wonder if this is the same across cultures?

I'm a guy and high ego myself, and all my close friends are guys. I also joined a frat in college. Most of the time, if I"m trying to "befriend" a woman it's for romantic reasons.

[Mz]

How much time (hours per week) are you spending with female friends, especially one-on-one? And do they have other strong friendships? And are they getting their romantic/sexual needs met elsewhere?