[Hasknewbie]

>> I had on my first trip some mixture of feeling of dying(the burning in hell kind of dying), a panic attack and an existential crisis.

Yes, I should have kept the snark in check. I come from a family that drank the alternative medicine Kool-Aid, so am quite dismissive of it. My point was that alternative medicine usually sells itself as soothing / non-threatening, and sometime also (as in your case) as 'transformative', which in my opinion is no better: your attempt might very well have ended up badly and left you worse off, with an additional trauma. Opting for feel-good or miraculous solutions is often a red flag that one is caught in a pattern of avoidance. If you want to solve a personal problem, you have to sit down and do a thorough assessment, and accept any strong evidence that comes out of it, whether you like it or not.