[pjzedalis]

He completely misses the forests from the trees.

Had the woman been hired she would have been denied by him the satisfaction of knowing she earned the position through her hard work, intelligence, and capabilities.

He also does not seem to recognize why he is a creep. Ultimately we find people creepy when they portray themselves and their motives one way and yet secretly or covertly act another.

I recommend therapy so that he can identify his true desires and motivations and then realign his life to optimize for them.

[mojowo11]

Not to be confrontational here (or argue with your primary point), but I'm pretty sure you didn't read the whole post. It says in the post that he's been going attending regular counseling already.

[pjzedalis]

Good catch. I did read that but misplaced it when replying.

I am glad he is seeking help but I hope its for purposes of identifying his desires/behaviors and not only mandated by circumstance.

[nulldev]

> I did read that but misplaced it when replying.

This is some of the most ridiculous phrasing I've ever come across.

[pjzedalis]

It is to admit that I could have said "glad to see he is in therapy and hope he finds his true motivations" but I forgot he mentioned it because it is besides the point. The objective of my comment was to throttle down the "creep shaming" going on in this forum and several others.

Many people sometimes act creepily without even being aware of it. A little empathy as to how the other person feels and what their goals are can help one treat them with the respect they deserve. Hopefully the author can discover when his various desires are appropriate to express in context of the circumstances at hand.

[macspoofing]

>Had the woman been hired she would have been denied by him the satisfaction of knowing she earned the position through her hard work, intelligence, and capabilities.

Meh. People get hired for bad, or unfair reasons all the time. Nobody cares about that. If that wasn't the case referrals and affirmative action wouldn't be allowed. The reality is that reasons for getting hired aren't as important as being competent in the job you were hired for.

[pjzedalis]

Sure nobody denies hiring happens for unfair reasons all the time. That does not mean its not an ideal to hope for. I would expect more from authoritative figures who have already found success in our industry and looking to assist the next generation.

Is it so much to ask that a venture capitalist who is looking for the best and brightest to propel our industry to hire you know... the best and brightest? She should not have to look herself in the mirror and ask "Did I get this because I am qualified, intelligent, and worked hard or because he wants to hit on me?"

Let me phrase it differently. If he had asked her "Would you accept an employment position with us because I find you very attractive?" Do you think she would accept?

Maybe she would but that is besides my point. A little empathy for how she feels demonstrates that she was applying for a job she felt qualified for intellectually and not physically.

[macspoofing]

My point is, being hired for the wrong reasons for a job you're qualified for is a nothing-burger. It just isn't that big of a deal. But yes, I do take your point about respect and common decency.