[le-mark]

Yeah that all makes a lot of sense; the scenario was: more than acquaintances, worked together for over a year, she was QA on a project I was on, we talked everyday. She was very open about her life, and talked openly about the half marathons. Then I ran into her at a beer meetup with alumni from the same company, I hadn't talked to her in over a year. I was trying to make conversation, so I asked about the half marathons. That was the context, very not creepy imo. But I welcome feedback on that :)

[hluska]

You know, I'm not trying to make you feel bad here, but I wonder if that's the kind of question that needed some lead in? Usually when I meet a co-worker or acquaintance who I haven't spoken to in over a year (particularly if there is alcohol involved), I tend to be a little more conservative about how I bring up topics.

For example, in that situation, I might have said something like:

Hey, remember how you used to tell me all about your half marathon training? I just ran my first 5k...are you still training?

With those sentences you have:

1. Queued her memory. 2. Showed how that particular topic is relevant to you. 3. Asked your question.

That kind of approach also tends to be a more fertile conversation starter with people who I haven't spoken to in a long time.

Finally, this is harsh advice, but necessary to hear. One of the keys to people is understanding that some people are significantly more important to you than you are to them. You may use the phrase 'more than acquaintances' to describe your relationship to her. She may refer to you as 'some guy in IT'. Or, maybe she has never referred to you because you just aren't that important to her.

That isn't bad though, because it is just as inevitable that you are significantly more important to someone else than he/she is to you. Heck, 'that person who serves you coffee' may refer to you as 'le-mark le drool'. :)

Point being, our operating systems aren't all compatible.

[mercer]

It shouldn't be creepy, I think, but I can see that it is interpreted that way.

I've had a few experiences similar to yours. I'd ask about something I remembered from earlier, and people acted surprised that I remembered. Sometimes the response was negative, and I got the impression that they themselves had forgotten that they told me about this. But other times, especially in a dating context, the response was very positive ('I can't believe you remember!').

As a result of all this, I've made it a personal policy to be very careful about sharing what I remember. When I feel confident that it'll be considered positively, I mention it. When I'm not sure, I act like I don't have the memories that I do.

As an aside, there's some evidence that strong memory in this regard correlates with depression. For me that strikes me as very true: I vividly remember and feel guilt over things only to find out that the other party has entirely forgotten about it.

[matheist]

yeah, that definitely sounds like an appropriate question in that context, then. sounds like the problem isn't with you there :/