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by watwut 3279 days ago
That will come across as passive aggressive or manipulative at best. You need considerable charisma to be able to pull something like that off. It is nice as vengeance dream, but in practice would turn against him. It is therefore bad advice.
1 comments
julianmarq 3279 days ago
> but in practice would turn against him

... How? If he's leaving, exactly what they could do against him for you to say "it would turn against him"? Nothing, of course, that's the point of quitting, but I'm all eyes to your take on it.

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watwut 3279 days ago
Network of people you know and their willingness to work with you again are quite helpful in both getting new jobs and telling you how the workplace really looks like before you go to interview.

Also, what is the point of leaving as parent suggested? It is that you get to look like a good guy in the end and she gets to feel bad/look bad in the eyes of the management. If he ends up looking like manipulative asshole, then he won't get that.

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contingencies 3278 days ago
Meh. You can take that stance. However, I don't think the OP is going to come across as manipulative if they have been wrongfully victimized by such a situation. My policy has always been and continues to be "open, honest, and to hell with the social implications." While it's not the snazziest social calibration one can aspire to, and it can burn bridges, long term it creates trust and more importantly removes the need to bother managing such petty issues mentally.
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watwut 3278 days ago
Practicaly, it does not matter whether he was wrongly victimised or not. It is irrelevant whether she wrongly accused him or whether he was collosally out of line. It matters whether he can talk about "formative stage of career" without sounding like a colossal weirdo. Most people can't.

He was looking for advice how to make his situation better. This is not it.

Also, there is big difference between saving mental resources by not thinking about impact of your words and spending effort looking for "a chance to talk to a nontrivial percentage of the staff and explain ...". The latter does not save mental energy. The latter is major project instead. Nor does it build trust. Characterising it as causual "saving energy from managing petty issues" is ridiculous.

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contingencies 3278 days ago
Your response is 90% opine.

By bringing it up he is giving the company a chance to be aware of its mistake. As long as he is respectful in how its done that's a very selfless thing.

FYI the open-and-to-hell-with-it strategy works well for me, I am very successful by most measures.

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julianmarq 3278 days ago
> Network of people you know and their willingness to work with you again are quite helpful in both getting new jobs and telling you how the workplace really looks like before you go to interview.

Exactly how many of your jobs have helped you in any way in getting the next one? Hell, I have never even been asked references. Maybe we just work in entirely different industries and you're making too many assumptions.

> It is that you get to look like a good guy in the end and she gets to feel bad/look bad in the eyes of the management.

Perhaps and whoever accused him should feel bad, but won't, people who take advantage of the power that a false accusation gives tend to be sociopaths, they don't care about the person they're accusing nor about actual victims.

> If he ends up looking like manipulative asshole, then he won't get that.

He won't.

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