[FeatureRush]

> If he wanted a relationship, there are infinitely better and more appropriate ways to go about it, especially if he thought she might actually be interested.

McClure aside, in general situation when during recruitment precess you meet someone you would like to date is there really a way to go about it that doesn't end badly? Message during recruitment is plain creepy. Asking them out after they are hired is bad for obvious reasons like you being the superior and him/her having the impression that this is the real reason they've been hired. There was at least one story on HN that I remember when someone wasn't hired and soon after was asked for a date and it also ended badly, even if that person waited some time to be "safe" that still could be counted as stalking and using information summited during the interview for personal reasons is bad.

But you can't even ask about their phone number anyway! It doesn't matter if your intentions are honest and you two could be a good couple if you met at different occasion. Once the recruitment process starts he/she is pretty much removed form your dating pool. Even if you ask nicely without any inappropriate signals - any move you make can be seen by him/her as you taking advantage of the situation. Even innocent question about phone number can have really scary implications from his/her point of view.

Sure it can end in nice date or maybe an awkward silence and you explaining yourself and apologizing or it can give them a true nightmare... Are you going to risk it?

[jusssi]

> in general situation when during recruitment precess you meet someone you would like to date is there really a way to go about it that doesn't end badly?

(a) No, not one where you have any control whether it goes bad or not

(b) Your day job is not a dating service

(c) If you can't figure out a and b on your own, you're not mature enough for a position of power

[FeatureRush]

Was it not clear that this is what I was saying? That asking out that would be OK in other situations is not OK in the context of job interview?

[jusssi]

I feel you said (a), and (b) and (c) were my additions. If you implied them and I missed it, then please consider my comment as TLDR-as-a-Service =)

[FeatureRush]

Sorry, on it's own the sentence you cited can be read both ways and I was afraid you stopped reading there. My bad.

[emcarey]

HE WAS MARRIED

[CPLX]

This isn't actually that complicated. There are seven billion people in the world, you choose one of the ones that you aren't professionally compromised with to date. Period.

Life is full of situations where you have to choose between two competing positive values. It's part of being an adult.

[FeatureRush]

Yes, you are right about there being a choice. This is the core of the problem here. Many I feel look at it and wonder why pass a good opportunity to meet someone, we could both have a chance at something great (unending source of unwanted advances)... The advice about not trying it in professional settings is seen as taking away their freedom to date people, as being rejected without even ability to ask and by it being fundamentally unjust. What they fail to consider is how it look from the other side and how the very same innocent question from their point of view can be seen as some sort of "deal" and part of nightmarish recruitment process.

[oliv__]

Oh give me a break. You are so uptight.