[Kalium]

> Or should you be yourself from the beginning, "happy to be a hippo" so to speak[1]. You'll probably get fewer first bites, but ones that get through have shown they don't care about your balding head and bulging stomach.

You're absolutely right! People should be filtering for quality over quantity! That said, is it possible you're running on the assumption that the people we're concerned with here can reasonably expect to believe they will find a result-set with such a strategy?

For a lot of people, the situation they're in is that they've been themselves for quite a long time now and are getting few-to-no bites. The suggestion that they should double down on this strategy is thus somewhat less than maximally appealing.

[pm90]

I 100% agree with being oneself but there are some unfortunate human pitfalls which prevents human beings from communicating their true value to others quickly and in an attractive manner. e.g. A guy may be kinda sorta balding, but he might turn out to be the best dad in the world. How is he supposed to convey that value to his potential mates?

This is why I recommend at least paying lip service to notions of fashion and social behavior. One doesn't need to become an outgoing extrovert, only to be able to use the signals that society associates with attractive mates. For males, this is: confidence, good style and posture, hygiene etc.

[user5994461]

There are plenty of great dads who are not bald.