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by kelnos
3286 days ago
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So basically you're saying "tipping is optional, but if you don't, I'm going to think less of you as a person". Which is the same thing as saying "if you want to live in 'polite' society, tipping is required". The problem is that when you see someone not tipping, you have no idea why. Perhaps that person received horrifyingly bad service. Perhaps that person is morally opposed to the practice. Or perhaps that person is just a cheapskate. You don't know, and putting that into your "mental calculus" is just you projecting your own feelings onto a situation for which you have very little factual information. I'm not picking on you in particular; the majority of people in the US behave exactly the same way. And that's why tipping is mandatory, never optional. |
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That's exactly what mental calculus is. When I'm in a normal state of mind, "was the service any good" and "does this person have the money to tip" are also part of the mental calculus applied when I notice you didn't tip.
> I'm going to think less of you as a person
Maybe so. Vanishingly so (that's why it's calculus) depending on the scope of our interaction. If you are a person on the street who I noticed didn't tip the hot dog vendor, I'm likely not even doing this mental calculus at all, unless you've done something else to attract my attention.
If you're my boss, and I casually observe you not tipping on a regular basis, sure it's going to affect my opinion of you.
(If you are the owner of the company where I work and I notice you suddenly have a habit of not tipping, I'm likely to take it as a signal that maybe business is not so good!)