| I found this book to be quite good: > The Irritability Cure: How To Stop Being Angry, Anxious and Frustrated All The Time https://www.amazon.com/Irritability-Cure-Being-Anxious-Frust... It does a good job covering various reasons you might be upset, e.g.: " 1. Someone did something they shouldn’t have done. 2. Someone was hurt, harmed, humiliated, embarrassed, offended, disappointed, or otherwise inconvenienced by what was done. 3. Some person or persons (other than myself) were unilaterally responsible (i.e. to blame) for #1 and #2. 4. The offending person or persons should acknowledge what they did wrong, offer to make amends, and/or be punished. " Then various things you can try to think about to short circuit being upset: " A) Failing to recognize how your own judgments, evaluations, and standards might not be valid for other people. B) Failing to recognize how your own actions, past and present, may have contributed to what happened. C) Justifying your anger, instead of looking within yourself for its internal causes. D) Retaliating or seeking revenge, instead of openly and honestly dealing with what happened. " I know lots of advice in this realm ends up being things like stop and breath, exercise, use religion and forgiveness, but none of those things really do anything for me. If you can make a chain of logic to the bad result of being upset and then break the chain somewhere with one of those, I find that quite effective. |